Dear Queenie,

I am in my 20s and have a young child, who I take care of alone. I thought I knew who her father was, but I am not sure. He said it was not his.

I started having sex at a very very young age with different guys. It's like I am an addict. A while back, I started seeing a married man after a boyfriend dumped me. He was so nice to me and I thought my boyfriend would get jealous. He did not. He said I was a whore.

The married guy was not who I really wanted, but he helped me a lot and got me a job. My daughter even got to like him. His wife found out about us, and he cooled it off, but recently he started mailing and calling me again, and we got back together. Recently he left his wife, and I was very happy inside, 'cause then he had all his time for me.

I did a lot of wrong things to get with this guy, and I also used my sexuality. I realize men always go for that. I don't really love this guy, but he does everything I ask, unlike the others. They use me for sex but eventually go back to their lives. I get a rush being with guys that are taken, to show I can get them, though the guys have no idea that this is what I am really doing.

Sometimes before we kiss I want to tell him to brush or suck a mint, but I am scared to offend him, and lose all that he is now doing. Sometimes I feel bad when I tell him I love him, because it is just to keep him around and let people see us together.

Sometimes I think I should change because of my daughter, but I can't. I just love it when men give me attention.

Queenie, how can I trust him enough that he won't cheat on me, or go back to his wife? He cheated on her with me. And should I speak to him about his hygiene?—Young and living life

Dear Young and living life,

Indeed, how can you trust this man not to cheat on you, as he did on his wife with you? But then, given your description of yourself, how can he trust you?

Yes, you should speak to him about his hygiene, but be very very tactful about it. There used to be a toothpaste commercial that said about halitosis (bad breath), "Even your best friend won't tell you." I always thought that if the person was really your friend, he or she would make a point of telling you – but of course, it has to be done very gently.

As you have not asked me, I will not comment about your lifestyle, except to suggest you consider carefully what kind of example you are setting for your daughter. Perhaps you might consider counselling.