Dear Queenie,
My husband had a heart attack last year and the doctor told him he should stop smoking, lose some weight and get some exercise, but not too hard. He hasn't done any of these things.
I worry about him all the time. When I go out I'm afraid I will come home and find him dead. I tried to tell him how afraid he was making me and ask him not to, but he didn't listen.
Queenie, how can I get him to take care of himself?—Worried Wife
Dear Worried Wife,
When your husband goes out, do you worry that he might get into a traffic accident, or only that he might have a heart attack? The one is just as likely as the other, given the traffic on the roads these days.
Your feelings are natural, but there is no use obsessing about what might happen. Apparently your husband has decided that he would rather live happily for whatever time he has than try to extend his life by giving up things that make him happy.
The more you worry about him the more you will stress him out, which can't be good for either of you. Try to concentrate on making both your lives as happy as possible for however long your husband is with you and be thankful for every day you have together. Professional counselling might help you cope.
